So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
