did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
