Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
