Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
