I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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