just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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