Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
