My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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