Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
