Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
