Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
