Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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