I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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