just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
