In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
