Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
