So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
