We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
