apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
