If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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