He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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