We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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