im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
