That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
