I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
