what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
