considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
