do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
