Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
