so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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