Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
