angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
