I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
