i think my mom watched the whole time
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
