I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
