I got chris browned last night
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
