i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
