Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
