I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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