and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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