I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
