susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm getting married
To pizza
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
