hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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