I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
