When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
