She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
