Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
