C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I am puke
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
How's work?
Spinning.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
