Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
