my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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