You can't special order awesome
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
