i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I cut my penus on the lid.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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